True Love and Loss

            Chapters 8- 12 of The Namesake, the reader sees the progression of the relationship between Gogol and Moushumi. In the beginning, they start dating and eventually get married, but the marriage ends when Moushumi has an affair. I think that Gogol and Moushumi are very similar in several ways. For example, both of their parents forced something on to them. In Gogol’s case it was Bengali culture and in Moushumi’s case it was the pressure to marry a Bengali man. Both of these pressures caused the characters to react in the same way which was rebellion which would make it seem like they are a perfect pair. As described in the novel, Moushumi describes dating Gogol as a little rebellious because he wasn’t the same person that her parents used to know. This would make her feel like she is rebelling against them while obeying their wishes at the same time. I think that trying to obey someone else’s wishes instead of making yourself truly happy never turns out well in the long run. It may not seem to have an effect in the present, but as time passes it affects you and the people around you; as seen when Moushumi has an affair with another man while married to Gogol. I think that the main reason why Moushumi agrees to marry Gogol is to please her parents and because she felt lonely. She may have sincerely loved him at some point, but your true feelings will never fade away. From the very beginning, Moushumi said that she never imagined marrying an Indian man and this would be very deeply rooted in her. Moushumi does go against this feeling and marries Gogol, but it is quite obvious that it wasn’t what she wanted if she feels the need to have an affair with someone else. I think that this also shows that their love wasn't for the right reason, you can't love someone because your parents want you to love them; that isn't true love. Personally, I could never understand how anyone could deal with the guilt of having an affair. I also can’t understand how someone could willingly hurt someone that they supposedly “love”.

            Throughout this section of the book, I feel as though Ashima finally started to adjust to the American culture. For example, she is okay with Sonia dating someone who is not Bengali. I think that this is a major thing to overcome because when she was younger there was no other option than to marry a Bengali and that would’ve been the only that she knew. Changing habits or beliefs are always hard, and for Ashima to do that is pretty extraordinary. The one thing that hasn’t changed is Ashima’s love and yearning for Ashoke. I believe that anyone can live without the one that they love, but they will never be the same person that they once were. Losing a loved one is always hard and will linger in your mind forever. The memories and emotions will always be there and this is seen when Ashima is preparing for her last party at the Pemberton road house. She says that she feels alone, overwhelmed and exhausted without her husband which is very typical when you have to live without someone you love. I’ve never really felt the loss of a loved one, but I know that if my parents weren’t with me, I’d eventually be able to smile again but the happiness wouldn’t be the exact same.

 

 

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Culture Clash

America is known as a country where people from all around the world come to chase their dreams; it’s also known as the country where anything is possible and anything can be. A lot of us may take this for granted because we are so used to our freedom and rights, but this is not always the case in other countries. When people immigrate to America, there are always adjustments to make and this is seen several times throughout the novel. I think that Ashima and Ashoke have to adjust to American culture more than Gogol does because they have only lived in the U.S for a short period of time while Gogol has grown up accustomed to American culture. This is seen for the first time when Gogol decides that he wants to change his name because he knows that its possible and the process is very easy. When he brings this up, Ashoke says “What’s done is done. It will be a hassle.” (p. 100). Ashima agrees with Ashoke, and this frustrates Gogol and makes him question why he has a good name and pet name. To answer his question, Ashima says “It’s our way Gogol. It’s what Bengalis do.” (p. 100). This shows that in Calcutta, having two names is normal but in the U.S. it isn’t and Ashima and Ashoke still aren’t used to American culture or willing to leave behind Bengali culture. In the end, his father lets him change his name and says, " In America anything is possible. Do as you wish." (p.100). I think that this shows that his father has basically given up on trying to push Bengali culture onto his son because Gogol is not longer willing to accept it.

I also see cultural differences when I read about the Ratliff family and how they live, compared to how the Ganguli’s live. For example, when Gogol first meets Maxine’s parents they are very accepting and nice to him. In contrast, Gogol’s parents are not as open and accepting when they first Maxine. Another difference between the Ratliffs and Gangulis is how they show love or affection between each other. Lydia and Gerald will hold hands, kiss, or show affection towards each other even if there are people around because that is accepted in American culture. Ashima and Ashoke do not show affection towards each other when people are around because that is not accepted in their culture. In addition, Ashima also doesn’t call Ashoke by his name while Lydia will call her husband by his name. I also think that Lydia and Gerald are more accepting of their daughter dating someone because  it is a normal thing in American culture but since it’s not as accepted in Bengali culture Ashima and Ashoke don’t like Gogol having relationships. They would probably rather have Gogol studying to become an engineer instead of dating Maxine. The fact that the Gangulis aren’t as accepting of relationships leads to the restrictions that Gogol must tell Maxine before she meets his parents. In contrast, Gogol isn’t given any restrictions when he meets Maxine’s parents.

Adjusting to a new culture is difficult, but I think that it is easier for someone who is born in the country to adjust and adapt to that culture. Ashima and Ashoke are slowly adjusting to American culture, but there will always be things that they are not okay with or have not accepted.

A Name Is How The World Sees You

In the novel, The Namesake, the reader is introduced to Gogol Ganguli. Even though the majority of people call him Gogol, that is not his official or "good" name. His real name is Nikhil Ganguli. When Gogol was younger, he liked his name; in fact, he wanted to be called Gogol and didn't respond when people would address him as Nikhil. As he got older, he felt that his name was very different and felt embarrased when people would say it. For example, when Gogol's English class studied work written by Nikolai Gogol, he felt embarrassed whenever the teacher would refer to Gogol; even though the teacher wasn't directly refering to him. I understand what it feels like to not like a name because when I was younger, I used to hate my name. I disliked it because occasionally people would call me Justin, but now that I'm older, I like my name because of how unique it is. I think that having a unique name is something to be proud of, it's feels like you're one of a kind. In this novel, Gogol has one of the most unique names that anyone could ever have and I think that when he was younger he liked the name because he wanted to feel special and he liked the attention his special name would give him. As he gets older, I think that he just wanted to blend in with other people and felt that his name just made him stick out.

When Gogol was born, his parents, Ashima and Ashoke, didn't have a name prepared for him because his grandmother was supposed to name him. They eventually named him Gogol because they were not allowed to leave the hospital without naming the baby. Usually, parents have plenty of names prepared when a baby is born, and in Gogol's case, that didn't happen. In my opinion, I think that naming is really important because I feel that a name can define a person. It may not be obvious when they are young, but when a child gets older and discovers the meaning of their name, or who they were named after it could sculpt who they become.